vENTRILOQUISM*

I’m giving serious thought to taking up ventriloquism, even though I can’t talk with my lips pressed tightly together, much as I try, and can’t stand having anything on my lap. I do, however, have a fondness for tailor’s dummies, as I find the little fellows quite charming, and those high stools that ventriloquists are trained to sit on, magnificent indeed, and uninterrupted applause, especially from people in nice cloths and convertible automobiles, red one’s if I had my choice, which I don’t of course, for reasons that must seem quite obvious, the cars are not mine, or the nice cloths for that matter. I am practicing talking with my lips pressed tightly closed as we speak, well as you speak, as my lips are pressed tightly together, and as I have yet to master the ventriloquist’s act I might as well be the dummy, or a red car, a convertible if I had my choice, which I don’t.